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Why am I so obsessed with gadgets? It seems every so often a new device comes out that is simply a must have, some of them more useful and needed than others. It’s not just gadgets either, sometimes these must have items are much larger than a mere gadget; I’d call these items electronics. Sometimes they are replacements for older, inferior versions while other times they are completely out of the blue items I never knew I “needed.”

Of course it wasn’t always like this. I had toys when I was much younger, normal toys. I had Lego’s, toy cars, lots of Transformers; the kinds of toys that boys have. It wasn’t until my teenage years did I get into electronics and other “guy toys.” If I remember correctly my CD player was probably the first real piece of electronics I bought on my own. That’s a pretty big deal to a 13 year old kid, at least it was for me.

Things began to really take off after I got my first job. I suppose this only makes sense, because up until then the only money I really had was what I received from birthdays, Christmas, and odd jobs around the house and for neighbors; enough for a young teenager, but nothing compared to what you can make working full-time over summer.

So working and getting money together is obviously what enabled me to buy all this stuff. This is how the economy works, so this is no big surprise. What I’m really interested in is WHY I feel the need to buy stuff like this? With the responsibilities I now have (bills, living expenses, etc…) I can no longer afford to buy all the fun gadgets I used to. Unfortunately this fact does not always stop me from doing it anyway.

After thinking about why I am the way I am in this regard, I have come up with a number of factors which I believe contribute to my affliction. The first, and most influential, is my Asian-ness. Now I know what you are thinking, “wtf, did he just blame his lack of self control on being Asian.” Well, I sort of did and sort of didn’t. More specifically I’m blaming my Asian mom. Yeah, I know, that sounds even worse doesn’t it? Before you stop reading and go straight to the comment box to flame me, hear me out.

Growing up my mom has always been pretty tough on me. I can’t tell you how many times I would bring home a report card full of A’s only to get the reply, “Why didn’t you get an A+?” This isn’t necessarily a bad thing; it has definitely had an effect on how high I set standards for myself and is in large part how I have made it as far as I have in school. In short, it has made me a perfectionist when it comes to things I care about.

What does this have to do with being Asian and having an Asian mom? Asian’s have the stereotype of being a disciplined people, and for the most part I believe this is true. Most of the Asians I’ve talked to about this subject believe their parents were extra tough on them; so I’m not basing my opinions on just my experience alone. Asian moms are also highly critical; one day you are too skinny, another you are too fat, you are never working hard enough, your GPA should be a 4.2.

I believe this “perfectionism” and the idea that nothing is ever good enough has a lot to do with my need to constantly upgrade electronics and buy new items. Of course my stereo is working now, but it could sound a lot better if I only had so and so. My computer is working great as is, but a new video card would make games perform a lot better. I think you see what I’m getting at. This is the sort of inner-dialogue I have to deal with on a daily basis, and quite frankly I’m sick of it. Of course the inner-dialogue isn’t quite that clear, it’s more of an idea than someone talking in my head; I am not crazy.

Luckily my mom instilled me with another Asian train of thought which has helps me combat these feelings of techno-inadequacy. For as long as I can remember I have been told to save my money. Spending money on things was always bad in my household, buying superfluous junk was like taboo and wasn’t done often.

Unfortunately this creates an inner struggle for me. I have one side of me that wishes to constantly buy gadgets and electronics while the other side says this is wrong and out of the question. Sadly, before buying anything expensive I’m filled with anxiety and afterwards come feelings of guilt. Sometimes these feelings do their job and keep me from purchasing things; although most of the time what keeps me from buying something is a pure lack of funds. One thing I am good at is not buying something I really can’t afford. I never buy something I don’t have the money for (through credit cards and such).

Anyone who knows my mom knows that she is a bargain hunter. She has a coupon for everything and somehow seems to know what stores have what sales at any given moment in time. I suppose this is what happens when you grow up in a poor family. It’s quite a useful skill when used for good. My mom is always getting groceries and food for cheap; saving a dollar here and there for the past 20 years has surely made a difference. I have picked up this skill, from my mom no doubt, but choose to use it for evil instead of good most of the time.

I’m terrible at cutting/using coupons. Going to the grocery store for me is a complete joke when it comes to looking for savings. The clothes I like never seem to be on sale and neither does the food. This usually results in me buying crappy cheap food or expensive food, and becoming frustrated while shopping for clothes because paying $50 for a shirt sucks and for the most part I refuse to do so.

Where I really shine is finding “deals” on electronics, especially on the web. It’s an easy skill to pick up and I’m sure anyone who knows a few sites or can go to Froogle can get the hang of it. I can spend hours looking for the best price on the web. Basically what happens is I find the item for a few bucks cheaper and convince myself I should buy it because just look at the bargain I’m getting. The Asian inside of me can’t turn down a good deal. Damn him!

I feel a lot better knowing that this weakness I have is really the result of my mother’s parenting. Anytime I feel the desire to buy something now I can just think about my mom and how this is all her fault. I can now rationalize asking my mother for money to buy these items as well; seeing how it’s her fault anyway, shouldn’t she be paying for at least some of it?

* Side Note: Take this with a grain of salt. It is not my intension to insult mothers or Asians. Sorry mom.

This entry was posted on Monday, August 23rd, 2004 at 1:19 pm and is filed under Personal. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.